First Sight

I looked at him from across the crowded room. His magnetic ebony eyes fringed with dark lashes sized me up. His stare should have scared me but surprisingly, it didn't.

I looked away, shielding my eyes with my long curly hair. I could still feel his gaze on me.

This is madness. I thought to myself and yet, I could feel my heart pounding rapidly.

My friend nudged me. "The new guy is staring at you," she whispered.

"That's ridiculous. He's not staring at me. Why would anybody stare at me?" I vehemently denied but deep inside I felt giddy.

At least I'm not hallucinating. I thought.


I went back to the book I was reading before I felt his gaze on me but I couldn't concentrate. I peeked from under my lashes at him. He wasn't staring at me. I heaved a shaky sigh of relief and I studied him. His brown complexion was flawless. He wasn't what one would call drop dead gorgeous but there was a certain aura of magnetism and a hint of danger that seemed to appeal to me.

He probably has a lot of girls falling for him. I thought. He certainly has no time for ugly, overweight me. I mumbled dejectedly.

"What?" my friend asked.

Great! I said it out loud. Figures. I visibly colored. "Nothing," I said, "I was just mumbling to myself." I didn't meet her gaze. She looked at me quizzically for a moment and went back to typing on her laptop.

Now I'm talking to myself. But that wasn't so weird. After all, I frequently talked to myself.

I felt his gaze on me again and I had the urge to take out my compact and check my reflection to see if there was something on my face. I furrowed my brow and tried to concentrate on my reading. I failed.

I looked up again and met his gaze. He smiled at me and winked. Now, I had the urge to go over and yell at him, or better yet, slap him.

An image immediately popped up in my head. I saw myself with him leaning toward him. I saw our lips meet. He kissed me. I saw myself accept his kiss...his kisses...

I blinked rapidly trying to get the image out of my mind. I shivered. I looked over at him; he smiled and looked at me knowingly.

I turned beet red. He looked as if he read, no saw, what I was thinking.

Impossible. I thought, trying to convince myself that I was imagining things.
I couldn't take it anymore and I slammed my book, got my bag, and stalked out of the room. I could still feel his gaze on me. I felt self-conscious and out-of-sorts. It was disconcerting.

I breathed a sigh of relief when I was finally out the door. He didn't follow me.

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Stalker

You can call me an angst ridden teenager but I don't care. I was full of the darkness way back in the day. Not to worry though, I am bright and cheerful so this was just a phase. I'll look for my old poems soon! Knock yourself out and read Stalker.

The pain inside

Gnawing at me

Emptiness

The confusion

Mocking at me

Sadness

These feelings

All on the brink

Darkness is prowling

Stalking

Playing with my mind

Uncertainty

The glinting silver knife

Stabbing me from behind

No defense

No salvation from anyone

All are prowling

All are crawling

All are stalking

Playing with my mind.

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Starlight

I found a poem that I wrote almost 10 years ago. It's a bit cheesy, I know but hey, I can always claim immaturity as an excuse, right?

The night is dark, cold, and dreary

Oh, how I miss your touch

Your presence, your love

It drives me insane

That both of us are apart

Looking up at the heavens

I see with clarity

Twinkling stars winking down at me

Oh, how I wish one of them was you.



A long and lonely night it is

But so full of stars alight

It's ironic to think about

A wonderful night but I'm alone

Without you in my arms

Oh, how I wish my loneliness would end

When you would be back in my arms again

Arms that feel empty.



Looking at the heavens above

I am waiting for a sign

That one day I would find a way

To be in your arms again

To sing to me and to love me

And every time I look up at the stars

I know that there, in the space

Of light and nothingness

There, we can find love

Love to fill our lives

Forever...

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Scrapbook Saturday: Faithfully

This is my first post for Scrapbook Saturday and I'm psyched to see what all the other scrappers are posting. I know I'm still a newbie when it comes to scrapping but I am learning a lot, albeit at a slow pace, but still...

I call this scrap Faithfully since I have added a few lines from that song by Journey and most importantly, this line also holds a special meaning for me and my hubby.

Credits:
Template
KylieM Designs, Template 5
Papers
Juno, Summery Papers
ShabbyPrincess, Sweet Sprinkles Kit
agnieszkag, Mystery Papers
Lynn Griffin, Greenery Mini Kit
Butterfly Embellishments
Joni Gray, Lazy Summer Days Kit
Journaling
Journey, Faithfully








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Amidst the Crisis more Realities Come to Life: From Coffee Cup Princess

I'm copying over some of my old noteworthy posts from Coffee Cup Princess. I've already decided to stop posting there as of today. When I would learn how manage a self-hosted Wordpress blog then I would revive that old blog. Unfortunately, I still don't know how. To me, it is rocket science. Here's the actual post:

The Philippines is currently experiencing RICE CRISIS! Yes, you heard me right - RICE and it has now been called The Rice Problem on Inquirer.net. If you click on this link, you will be showed to a whole page dedicated to articles about our current rice problem. Just yesterday, I bought the cheapest maize (corn) for my dogs and guess what? It's 30 PHP per kilo and it used to be a little below 20 PHP a few weeks ago. I also asked the salesperson how much the cheapest rice was and it's about 40 PHP per kilo - before it was about 20-25 PHP. And I'm talking about the CHEAPEST RICE, and not the imported ones. You could just imagine how much the imported rice CURRENTLY costs.

Now, because of the rice problem another species of thieves arose - the RICE HOARDERS! Can you imagine? Amidst all the crisis, people are still trying to steal more and more. All you hear on the news these days are about thieves! Not just this type of thieves but also from PGMAs administration, to other people in power, to the common tao (person). Everyone has already been starting to be grabby - and I mean GRABBY! If you can imagine the number of sacks of rice being stored for future profit, your eyes wound really pop out.

I used not to think about things like these but since I am now married (blush) and starting to budget our money (I just feel so grown-up), I am now feeling the pain. I can't imagine what other people must be feeling. On the news yesterday, a mother burned her three children just because they spilled a whole kilo of rice on the ground. Desperate situations call for desperate measures must be true in this case. The mothers' explanation was that she just got her ration of NFA rice and she doesn't have money to buy more rice. She also couldn't get the rice from the ground because chickens were already starting to attack them like crazy. See, even the chickens are feeling the crisis!

Now, despite this rice problem, useless REALITY SHOWS are starting to pop up here and there (and I'm not just talking about Philippine reality shows). Yes, I'm ranting again, but that's just me. I really don't enjoy watching these shows. Okay, okay, so I do watch those that are worth watching but the others just seem so...cheap, you know? Selling yourself for cash and the opportunity to be popular and become an actress. Sure, there is no problem about wanting to be popular and wanting to be a celebrity but I just don't get the newest sensation in the Philippines, Pinoy Big Brother Teen Edition Plus. I mean, from what I've seen so far (I've seen bits and pieces here and there while channel surfing), everything has already been planned from the start. The strategy is: if you find a "love team" on the show, then you are sure to win the BIG BUCKS. Now, I think this is what makes it CHEAP and not worth watching.

To end this rant (I'm very good with this), is a list of other Philippine Reality Shows. Some of them, I've seen and the others, I haven't. Although some of these reality shows benefit those belonging to the lower income bracket, some are simply...STUPID.

1. Mission X


2. Wish Ko Lang


3. Simpleng Hiling


4. Willingly Yours


5. Victim


6. Pilipinas, Game KNB?


7. Philippine Idol


8. Star in a Million


9. Little Big Star


10. Star Circle Quest


11. Pinoy Dream Academy

Source: Wikipedia.org




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Memes: Weekly Question #6

I am absolutely happy that I joined this weekly meme. I love the questions that Julie asked because they make me think deep thoughts and ponder about life's questions. To know more about this meme, click here. You will not have any problems in following the meme because you can opt to receive an email informing you of the new question of the week.

Can you describe yourself as a friend? Or how do your friends describe you as a friend?

It is hard describing oneself as a friend - a true friend, to be exact. I know that everyone has their own "qualities of a friend" list that they are mum about. I know it would be really rude if you spread them around and tell a person that he/she doesn't qualify as "friend material." That is why I am not going to describe myself as a friend or tell you how my friends describe me. Believe me, I don't really know how they see me in black and white. All I do know is what they have done for me as my friend. You see, when they do something for me, it is guaranteed that I would do something back for them when they need it.

• My friends tell me their secrets. I have never been a secret keeper but I have also not been a total blabber mouth. There are still things that I know that I haven't divulged to anyone. I still believe that the person concerned still doesn't know that I know this tidbit but it hasn't hampered our relationship.
• My friends come over to my house all the time. Well, it used to be all the time but since the lot of us have gotten married, or got jobs in other countries and/or cities, or got jobs, we have stopped doing that. It was fun, though, when we where still in high school and in our early years in college. We still do it sometimes, but not as frequent as before.
• My friends are frank. I know you think that it's a bad quality for a friend but to me, it's not. I would not want a friend to keep on talking behind my back. That would be me, as well. I can be blunt, however, I have stopped being totally blunt because I don't want to hurt their feelings (growing up does that to you). Usually, my thoughts would be kept to myself until I have told the person, in a kinder way, of course, what I felt or thought at that time.
• When my friends fight with each other, they fight amongst themselves and not include the others. It used to be different when we where in grade school. When a fight would ensue, there would be total chaos that breaks the group into two, pitting one group against the other. I remember one time when we had a movie session at my place and only two of my friends arrived, we were talking (of course I was doing the talking and they were answering) about school and stuff until the others arrived. It was only until after the movie that I realized that those two friends weren't on speaking terms with each other! Clueless me. But anyway, they didn't show it and we talked, albeit ignoring each other, with no one the wiser!
• My friends ask me for help. If it's just lending my ear or asking for advice, I try to give really good advice. However, since giving advice is really hard, I let them talk my ear off and let them vent out their feelings until they see things clearly. This works way on both sides.

Sometimes, your friends can become one of your worst enemies. I haven't personally felt the wrath of my friends and hoping that I would never fell their fire, ever. My friends and I have been through a lot. Through laughter and tears, we shared them all. I must say that we have been close even though we have our own lives and we have new circle of friends. One of them once said to me that "she may have new friends at work but we would never forget us." That's not a direct quote though, since she was speaking in Bisaya (our local dialect in Dumaguete).

Ah, time does fly. These are a few snaps that I saw lying around my lappy.

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Learnings: Squeezing the Last Bit of Creativity from My Brain

My posts of late are rapidly becoming paid ops. Nothing seems to be coming out of my brain right now and my brain seems to be drying up.

I used to write a lot back in high school. My favorite "school doodle" (for lack of a better term) in between and during classes was composing poems just to take out the boredom from the daily lessons. Precisely what I was thinking back then is beyond me but my poetry seemed to sound like they were full of angst, despair, love and heartbreak all rolled into a series of poems. Of course, no one was privy to my compositions. I wasn't even hooked into the internet back then and reading and writing were one of my top priorities.
Now, why have I stopped writing? I still dig deep into myself to find out why I have stopped but to no avail. It just seems that my "talent" has practically dried up! Isn't it a wonder that my articles are practically senseless and full of paid ops? This probably is due to the fact that I can't squeeze out new ideas from my noggin.

Considering that creative writing has been a passion of mine, I am quite saddened by this thought. I have recently read quite a number of blogs that have exceptional content and I am now striving hard to at least revert to an acceptable tone and content of creative writing. A friend once told me that "content is king" and I absolutely believe her. She also pointed out that blogging just for the sake of blogging and not making money should be my utmost priority. A few days ago, I was already starting to follow her advice. But typical me, I have gone astray from my goal.

I am now hoping that I can squeeze out and produce acceptable, if not exceptional writings starting this week. I am going to write at least 5 unpaid articles to try and improve my writings and increase my readership.

Do you think I can make it? I sure hope so!

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Cryptic Writings

I'm now officially opening my new blog Cryptic Writings...pero wa pa gyud ko'y entry...huhuhu kay u know na busy kaayo and I left all my old poems and stuff sa Cali...well let's just see what I might...or might not... write...hehehehe

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