Reinventing Myself. I feel Rejuvenated

If you were to “reinvent yourself” what would you do?

I haven't really grown up much this past year. I mean, not as much as I hoped I would. I don’t know if many of you know it or not but as far back as I can remember, I have been quite independent. A bit spoiled perhaps, what with me being the only child and all; but I was left to my own devices. I never really experienced my whole childhood as best as one would expect. And I never got to experience a few developmental milestones that come with it. Sure, I learned how to ride a bike minus the balancers; yeah right, that was when I was twelve years old! A bit too old to learn how to ride a bike, I should say but that’s the truth. I guess it all boils down to being the only spawn of my parents.

I’m not telling this bit of history without telling you what prompted these musings. In fact, I will tell you why it relates to the question of reinventing myself. In all honesty, I haven’t really thought much about reinventing myself. Well, there’s my battle with my weight, but that’s another matter. What I mean to say is that I never realized that I didn’t exactly grow up.

Let’s backtrack a bit to a time where I was in elementary school. I’ve said that I was left to my own devices, right? Well, I was left alone most of the time; with constant weekly trips going from one relation to the next, making me feel like a ping pong ball. I’m not saying that it’s a bad thing. No, it wasn’t. In fact, it made me feel more independent. I did my own homework by myself. I did my projects by myself without any help from others. Of course, my work wasn’t as outstanding as the others but I felt proud of it just the same. They were my work. It’s really funny how these bits remind you of who you are.

I haven’t thought about these memories much until yesterday when I thought about them. It does seem like a bleak childhood, doesn’t it? Do I feel melancholy? I would say not. In fact, I would even say that I was luckier than most to do things on my own.

Fast-forward to today. I realized that I forgot how to be independent. Being in another country seemed to have “dumbed” me in a way. I wasn’t the model responsible person but at least, I was a bit responsible for my age. At least, that’s what P said. However, that would not be the case today. It seems like being away from him has made me feel so dependent. I guess that happens when you are living with your mother.

I’ve realized that I haven’t really thought much about what my future would be. Maybe being away from P has made my goals go haywire like some jacked-up compass that wouldn’t point north. I realize that now. I should be the one to take control of my life and steer it to the right course. I can’t rely on somebody else to do it. No, it has to be me.

I may have lost sight of what I want to happen to me but all is not lost yet. I might not be totally reinvented but I know that I am now rejuvenated. I love that word: rejuvenated. I feel it is fitting for what I am about to embark.

All hope is not lost yet. Here’s to my rejuvenated life.

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Wandering Mind

More often than not, I am plagued by this little neurosis that I claim to have. Claim, you ask? Well, it's because I haven't been diagnosed yet and I doubt I will ever be, so this is just me playing doctor. Terrific! A little regression perhaps? Maybe not but it's always a plus to psychoanalyze yourself without paying a psychiatrist to do it for you. Heck, if you ever approach one, you'll be more than likely to be given poisons (drugs) that will never do wonders for your health or your sanity.

Yeah I'm babbling about heaven knows what and I know a few of my friends and my hubby would swear that I often stare into space with a blank look on my face. LOL It's funny I know, but it's scary at the same time! Wouldn't you give me a penny for my thoughts if you saw me in that state? Well, I would give me a penny if I know what I was thinking! Yeah, I basically think about everything and nothing, if ever that makes sense at all.

So this difficulty of focusing it getting to me and I just had to blog about it. It seems that the sisterhood of goddesses have deigned to inspire me today. If you have noticed, they seemed to have deserted me for the past few weeks and refused to let me blog about something of importance.

On another note of the same matter, I would like to share with you my experience visiting the Psychiatry: An Industry of Death Museum on Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, California. My friend Michelle urged us to go see the museum because she thought that it would give us a new insight and more knowledge about psychology than what we have reviewed so far. I got away with more than what I bargained for and got a clearer insight about what psychiatrists are doing to your brain all in the name of money.

As the name of the museum suggests, it is indeed a museum showing the history and development of psychiatry from Bedlam (Bethlehem Royal Hospital) to mainstream psychiatry. For the most part, I knew the history and development about psychiatry but I was lead to believe that modern psychiatry was a God-send. I was wrong. This museum is funded by the Citizen's Commission on Human Rights (CCHR) who have been fighting since the 1960s to expose psychiatry as what it is: an industry of DEATH. The museum features 14 documentaries ranging from the history, medications, racism, psychotic drugs, psychologists, psychiatrists, victims of psychiatric abuse and more.

I came away from that museum knowing more than what I expected to know. Plus, the director of the museum who is a Jew said that my name Ezrah means HELP in Hebrew. I thought it is quite appropriate with what my profession would be once I pass the exams, don't you think?

Psychiatry: An Industry of Death
The free Museum is located at 6616 Sunset Blvd, Los Angeles, California 90028.
Hours of operation:
Monday - Friday: 10 a.m. to 10 p.m.
Saturday and Sunday: 10 a.m. to 6 p.m.
Bring your friends, family and anyone you like! To book a free tour, please call the Museum Manager at 1-800-869-2247.
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I Snagged Page Ranks!

A few hours ago, Mommy Ruby gave me a heads up about the new PR updates going on. I wasn't expecting anything from Mr. G at this point because I had quite a let down a few weeks ago when they updated their PRs and they snubbed all of my blogs.

Well, not anymore! It seems like today is full of surprises. THREE of my four blogs managed to snag PRs!

Deranged Insanity, my main blog has finally reached PR 2. Before I had my own domain, it was given a PR3. PR2 is not bad because I just purchased my own domain two months ago.

Traipsey Turvey, my relatively new travel, suroy, lakwatsa, reviews, and food blog also managed to snag a PR2!

PierrEzrah, Pyertubs and my blog still got an N/A. It's not new but we don't seem to update that blog as much as we would want to. No matter, it is still one of my favorite nooks where Pyertubs and me can share our thoughts to each other and our readers.

The most surprising thing was that 'ez-rə fō-tə-grafs and 'skraps snagged a PR1! I never expected that one because all I've ever posted on that blog are photos that I took and digital scraps that I did! Well, I see a silverlining here! It seems that my efforts haven't been in vain!

So guys, how did all your blogs do?

Image: Google Images

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Consolidate Debts

With an increase in gas prices, basic commodities have followed suit and have increased as well. This is especially hard in countries with lower economies than in the United States. Sometimes, I still can’t comprehend why these people keep on complaining when in fact, they have got it good. I mean, most people can afford to buy food and other basic commodities while in other countries, basic commodity prices are sky high.

I have spent time here in the US and I have realized that a lot of people are deeply in dept. I guess it can be attributed to credit cards. You see, people get tempted to spend more than they earn because they can simply flash their plastic cards and get the items they want without ever spending cold hard cash. This is a big mistake because when the bills come, they still have to pay them. Sure, there are a lot of sales and bargains everywhere, but when these things pile up, they can amount to a lot of money.

Only a few people can spare money for savings. Some even work from paycheck to paycheck and that is not good at all. When this happens, spending money on entertainment and other frivolous things should become second but unfortunately, this is not the case.

Because of the mounting bills, some people opt to consolidate their debts. I didn’t really understand what consolidate debt means but when I surfed over to Bills.com, they gave me a full explanation of this term.

Consolidating your debt means that you pay off all your debts and make one loan so that you will only be paying one loan as a whole. Sometimes, these loans have lower interest rates than most credit cards so this can work for you as well.

However, always relying on debt consolidation will never solve your problems. What you need to do is save up some money and never touch it until an emergency comes along. With good health care insurance coverage, I suspect touching your stash will be safe for a long time.

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Prehistoric Rants and Learnings

In 1996, I wasn’t that interested in computers and the Internet. Well, we did have a really old one that was bought in the early ‘90s for business purposes, and it wasn’t as user friendly as you think!
Back then, the only time we were able to even touch a computer was in class. For one full grading period, we were privileged to grace the hallowed walls of the computer center and touch the, then alien, computer. We were taught the basics. Everything was still in black and white; DOS. When we started printing our stuff, I remember a classmate who was quite a know-it-all. Oh, who can blame her? She was probably the only one in our class who had a personal computer!
When I was a freshman a year later, Windows 95 was already up. Most of us had personal computers and had developed quite a little knowledge with the program and had started experimenting with the Internet. Well, there is always a witch in the story; go figure. Our computer teacher was such a pain. Sure, she was an IT graduate and taught us the basics but we couldn’t take her snide comments and veiled insults. So, we didn’t know much about computers? So, we had to ask her about really simple stuff? Well, she was our teacher and she had to answer us minus the remarks, too! Luckily, she was gone the next year.
It has been years since I thought of my prehistoric computer and Internet beginnings and I think I have become quite adept at this computer stuff. Oh, I’m not an expert but still, there is still time to better myself. I am also contemplating on getting a Cisco certification and getting some IT courses. What’s more, I can take these courses right at my home. There has been a growing demand of IT professionals all over the world so opportunities are great.
Whether it’s for a new career path or just for the heck of learning more, getting a Cisco certification may be the answer.

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Internet Finds: Boycott Scammers

I know a lot of bloggers are looking for ways to earn extra money. I admit that I am one of those bloggers. It is just another way to earn extra money to fund whatever you want, isn't it?
With the rise of "get paid" sites, there also emerged a new breed of scammers: the get paid to blog scams. We have seen a lot of websites out there that promise you that they really pay but they don't. Fortunately, I haven't come across any website, yet, that scammed me but I know someone who was scammed out of her get paid to click site.
Unfortunately, only a few people know about these scammers and it's time to get the word out! Know a get paid to site that scammed people? Have you been victimized by scammers? Check out GPTBoycott.com to know how you can get your voice heard.

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Learnings: HTML Your Bloglist

To everyone who exchanged links with me, I am now adding you the old fashioned way. That means linking the blog using HTML codes. Please please do so because using blog rolling scripts and such do not generate backlinks to your blog at all. I apologize to all my previous xlinkers since I just found out about it a few hours ago. thanks to Mommy Ruby. Ah, I am totally a blog newbie!

So please please please link back to me using HTML codes as I will not link you back if you are using other scripts. This is really a win-win situation and both of us will benefit from this. I know your other xlinkers would appreciate it, too.

Thanks a lot guys!

To view my blog roll click Deranged Roll

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Learnings: Squeezing the Last Bit of Creativity from My Brain

My posts of late are rapidly becoming paid ops. Nothing seems to be coming out of my brain right now and my brain seems to be drying up.

I used to write a lot back in high school. My favorite "school doodle" (for lack of a better term) in between and during classes was composing poems just to take out the boredom from the daily lessons. Precisely what I was thinking back then is beyond me but my poetry seemed to sound like they were full of angst, despair, love and heartbreak all rolled into a series of poems. Of course, no one was privy to my compositions. I wasn't even hooked into the internet back then and reading and writing were one of my top priorities.
Now, why have I stopped writing? I still dig deep into myself to find out why I have stopped but to no avail. It just seems that my "talent" has practically dried up! Isn't it a wonder that my articles are practically senseless and full of paid ops? This probably is due to the fact that I can't squeeze out new ideas from my noggin.

Considering that creative writing has been a passion of mine, I am quite saddened by this thought. I have recently read quite a number of blogs that have exceptional content and I am now striving hard to at least revert to an acceptable tone and content of creative writing. A friend once told me that "content is king" and I absolutely believe her. She also pointed out that blogging just for the sake of blogging and not making money should be my utmost priority. A few days ago, I was already starting to follow her advice. But typical me, I have gone astray from my goal.

I am now hoping that I can squeeze out and produce acceptable, if not exceptional writings starting this week. I am going to write at least 5 unpaid articles to try and improve my writings and increase my readership.

Do you think I can make it? I sure hope so!

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Conversations: Keeping Your PC Safe

We have heard a lot of horror stories about people having their personal computers hacked and all important files stolen. Identity theft is increasingly becoming rampant these days. This is why people take increased steps in protecting their PC's and keeping them hacker safe. But are they enough? Can we really trust the Anti Spyware products that are available to us? How safe is SAFE these days? Who can we trust? Here's a dNeero conversation about Home Computer Security

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Learnings: Friday the Thirteenth

I just realized that it's Friday the 13th! I think it's because I'm still thinking that I'm in the Philippines where it's already Saturday! So? Why the big fuss over Friday the 13th? Well according to Wikipedia, Friday the 13th is considered a day of bad luck. Hmm must be killer for my close friend because her birthday is on the 13th! Plus, she told me that she was actually born on Friday the 13th! Ha! She must have a life worth of bad luck, right? Wrong!! I believe that bad luck is all in the mind. But that's just me!

The History

Friday the 13th is considered a day of bad luck in English-, French- and Portuguese-speaking countries around the world, as well as in Austria, Germany, Estonia, Finland, The Netherlands, Belgium, Republic of Ireland, Poland, Bulgaria, Denmark, Iceland, Sweden, Norway, Czech Republic, Slovakia, Slovenia, Hungary, and the Philippines.

Similar superstitions exist in some other traditions. In Greece, Romania and Spanish-speaking countries, for example, it is Tuesday the 13th that is considered unlucky. In Italy, it is Friday the 17th.

The fear of Friday the 13th is called paraskavedekatriaphobia, a word derived from the concatenation of the Greek words Paraskeví (meaning Friday), and dekatreís (meaning thirteen), attached to phobía (meaning fear). The term is a specialized form of triskaidekaphobia, a simple phobia (fear) of the number thirteen appearing in any case.

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Learnings: Trying Out Motherhood - or Not!

Being the good Godmother that I am, errrmm not really that good, I visit my baby godchildren, Lurchie's kiddies yesterday. My, have they grown! Especially the little boy, who is not so little anymore! He's quite a handful! At first, little boy was pretty shy and sat on my lap prim-and-proper-like holding a piece of yummy bread. Of course, the mom said that he's pretty much preoccupied with eating that making a fuss so I haven't seen the real deal yet. Little girl, the elder of the two, was bringing her plastic bag full of bread and not sharing but she let me have a bite of her bread. Aww, that's really sweet! She gave me a big smack on my cheek, too!
Little girl was absolutely not prim-and-proper! She kept calling me Mommy Ging, too. Well, she called her mommy a different name so I guess I have nothing to worry about. Hahaha! After eating her bread (she only ate the part with sugar!) she did my hair. I gave her a brush so she can amuse myself with my hair while little boy was now climbing up and down my lap, climbing the bench, walking to his great grandmother, walking to my cousins, sitting on their laps, walking to his mommy, climbing on my lap, climbing down....you get the picture! No pictures where taken, unfortunately (what was I thinking?!).
During this sojourn in Lurchie's abode, I learned a few things again. Some were insightful and some were pretty shocking.

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